A Little Reminder: Attachment Can Happen Anywhere
My husband and I have always made it a point to get out now and then, just the two of us. Even if it is a trip to the dump together, or a ride to town to get groceries.
I build one-to-one time in for my kids too. Often the trip is short, like accompanying me to the post office to pick up our mail, or sometimes it is a longer road trip, as I present a talk somewhere. There are also planned occasions where we grab lunch or supper, one-to-one.
I just wrote in a previous blog about being home. Even though home is my favourite place to be, I find myself on the road a lot. Many moons ago, I decided with great intentionality to use travel times to be with a family member.
With the drone of the engine, and the miles rolling along, we have our quiet times. Sometimes we sing along to a tune on the radio. We’ve had swell times listening to old time detective stories on the radio, and listening to audio dramas in series. There is plenty of goofy kibitzing, laughing, and recalling of funny moments. And then there are the golden moments, where we talk about everything.
We solve dilemmas, heal hurts, go deep into the questions of life, find clarity, expose our hearts, look back, and look forward. My kids will ask me questions, and they’ll present opinions. These are the moments that would have never happened except for being alone and uninterrupted.
Each trip, each time together, we pray…we always pray. We thank each other for praying. Praying together, brings God into our intimacy. He comes on the road trip, growing our love, forming our relationship, and building our attachment.
My children are all big now. Two away from home, and two still at home, but independent in so many ways. As they’ve matured, our one-to-one time has become even more of a blast. One fruit of close family life is really enjoying each other’s company. For my children away to university/college, I still make personal time, connecting by phone. We make it a priority to chat.
When someone comes to me with concerns about a widening gap between a parent and child or between spouses, I tell them to start making one-to-one time. Make it happen.
What's one thing you can do today for some one-on-one time with a family member?